7 Habits of Happy Women

I like to help women get untangled.

I do it for myself all the time. If something is off I dig, pray, journal, and talk to friends until I figure out what’s going on inside me or around me.

I’m always about freedom, depth, and real living. I literally don’t really know the to go about life.

That’s who I am it is also why I’ve decided to make it my life’s work going forward. I like to see women alive. Alive in Christ. Making the most of their life. Being the opposite of numb and boring.

I’m a firm believer that life is now, today and that really living has to be fought for. It isn’t handed to us. Comfort is handed to us. Obligation is forced on us. Fear attacks us. But a life fully lived? You have to be proactive about that one.

Something tells me, you want to be fully alive too. So today I write to encourage you.

Today I write because I want to be a voice that drowns out the voice of Satan saying you can’t…you shouldn’t…it won’t be worth it.

Friend, you can. You should. And choosing life will always be worth it.

Here’s the cool part. I’m not about to say that you have to move to Uganda and start an orphanage to be fully alive. Even people there could just be going through the motions.

No, the 7 habits I’ve seen in women I admire and in myself when I’m at my most alive are simple choices that all women can start making today. I’m talking about all of us. The mom. The single-working gal. The cosmetologist and the church secretary.

Choices that cause us to fully engage with ourselves, our God, and the world around us.

The 7 Habits

They Make Healthy Female Friendships a Priority

Sisterhood. Squad. Tribe. The need for female friends is even more real, I think, than the desire for romantic love. Women who are really choosing to show up for life every day, know that they can not do life alone and that normally have a close group of girlfriends whom they can vent, garner encouragement, and speak out their most irrational fears to. It also does wonders for the soul to sit around in sweatpants and laugh with a nice glass of…something=)

They Don’t Watch Too Much TV

We are only given so many hours in a day. You can spend your time or you can invest it. Too much TV is not really a wise investment of time. Yes, I binge-watched The Crown. And yes, “A binge can work like a steel door that blocks our brains from thinking about those constant stressors that force themselves into our thoughts.” (Paige, 2017) But I wasn’t fully living during that time in my life. I was self-medicating the extreme burnout I was enduring. TV is a nice way to relax for an hour or two but I ask you – if you are watching more than an hour or two a day, what’s the issue? Are you overly stressed? Are you bored with your life? Are you trying to escape?

If you want to be more alive, choose to invest in your own life, not watch other people live theirs.

They Work Out in Someway

Women who live life fully workout because they want to feel good, heal or be kind to their bodies. They work out because it creates balance and decreases stress. They do not work out to simply “look good.” Exercise can’t just be about getting the attention of others. It has to be enjoyed for what it is in the moment. The release of all those great endorphins, the ease of depression and anxiety, the self-confidence booster, and so much more. (Semeco, 2017)

Exercise promotes the energy of life to flow into nearly all facets of our being. Walk. Do yoga. Jog a little bit. Exercise not to live longer but to maximize feeling alive today.

They Spend Consistent Time with God

If I was ranking these in order of importance this would be number 1 with a big fat star next to it. Listen, I know who I am when I’m abiding with Christ versus who I am when I’m not. We all know. When not practicing this habit I have less patience, I give in to temptation more often, and I can feel sad, anxious, and even numb for no reason at all. I lack faith, fear starts to set in…and so on.

Praise the Lord, I’ve been pretty consistent in this area of my life lately. What changed? Well, much as I said about exercise I began to realize how life-giving this habit is. It’s so positive and so pleasurable when it’s happening the right way, that it’s pretty hard to stop!

What is the right way? Well, whatever works for you. Long walks. Prayer Journals. A structured devotional. So long as it includes complete vulnerability with Jesus and some daily bread for your soul.

They Serve in Someway

We were made to give. Giving to others is practically satisfying and natural to women. (the real challenge for most women to learn when to say “no” when the “takers” in their life don’t set limits) But still, it’s important to remember that “The more we make this life about ourselves the more miserable we will be” – Matt Chandler. In a society obsessed with self, it’s just a good reminder that to fully live we must be letting the love & grace of Christ in flow through us and into others.

So, who are you willing to pour life into? You kids? Your husband? The team you serve on at church? Your local Habitat for Humanity? Serving, when done with a willing heart, will make you feel more alive than almost anything else.

They Don’t Sit in Self-Pity

As John Gardner said “Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure, and separates the victim from reality.”

When I have given in self-pity I am the absolute worst version of myself. I assume the worst things about others, envy takes over my heart, and I am fruitless. It’s an ugly situation. I give myself a bit of time, depending on the severity of the situation and then I try really hard (and it is hard) to fight the temptation to feel bad for myself.

Pulling yourself out of self-pity is almost a physical struggle. It’s heavy and hard and you have to manufacture the energy to do it out of thin air. It’s mind over matter. It’s choosing what is good until you start to feel good again.

 They Practice Vulnerability

 Ah, human connection. Scary, isn’t it? I don’t really need to say much here instead I’m just going to drop in the video of a viral TEDtalk on the topic. Have you seen it? If not, make time. This one will blow some dust off the rustiest parts of your heart. 

Friends, this is NOT a To-Do list. That’s the last thing any of us need.

However, I bet as you read there was an item or two that pricked your heart. There was a moment when you felt a quickening in your spirit that said “girl, you need more of that in your life.”

Listening to that voice, right there, is how you start to really live.

Get out of your head and just listen, with the wisdom of course, to that light inside you. That voice is leading you to LIFE. And do one new thing.

Listen. Do. Live.

"But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth…” John 16:13 

Sources:

Paige, 2017 (https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/what-happens-your-brain-when-you-binge-watch-tv-series-ncna816991)

Semeco, 2017 (https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/10-benefits-of-exercise)