I'm so thankful to feel this vulnerable again

Hi friend,

I never thought I’d need this kind of bravery again. The kind that makes my stomach drop. The kind that makes me feel like a freshman all over again. You’d think by 42, I'd be past the season of “starting over.”

And yet, here I am again. New job, new town, new church. Feeling a bit unknown, unsure, and honestly, uncomfortable. I keep making mistakes. I fumble through things I thought I’d already mastered. No one is impressed. My ego would love for this to be easier, more polished. But instead, it’s humbling… deeply humbling.

This season feels eerily similar to those early adult years—moving to a new place, starting a new job, making new friends, going on tons of first dates, learning new rhythms. It’s vulnerable to begin again.

Anyone know what I mean? 

It's vulnerable to begin again, anywhere, with anything.

It would have been so easy to stay comfortable, because this is hard.

But comfort wasn’t calling me—courage was. 

And here is where I start to turn a corner from all the frustration and discomfort to being just so darn proud of myself.

First, I'm thankful to God for the opportunity and for opening the door. Second, I'm proud of myself (and my husband;) for walking through it. Because we don't have to, and sometimes people don't.

I'm so thankful for the opportunity to feel fully alive again. To grow. To be stretched. To rediscover the parts of me that only rise up when I’m outside my comfort zone.

Friend, there’s is a both a compelling flash of new life and a comforting fall into humility that come when we step into a season that requires us to fully depend on God again.

To admit, “I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t do this without You.” It’s not just a challenge—it’s a gift. 

I’ll be honest—there are days when I feel totally out of sorts. When I wish I could fast-forward to the part where I feel confident again.

But I know how this works. One day, I’ll realize I’ve grown. That I’ve stopped making so many mistakes. That I’ve reached a new level of strength and maturity. That I've leanred new skills and gained new life experiences. That my mind will possess new knowledge, experiences and memories that nobody can ever take from me.

And I’ll be proud all over again, not just of the outcome, but of the courage it took to begin.

I wanted to let you know that if you’re starting something new, if you feel awkward or invisible or uncertain, know this: soon you’ll find that being uncomfortable is a gift. It many ways, it when we are most fully alive.

Cheers to all who are out there doing hard, new things.

Your future self thanks you. This is where confidence, humility, and faith send their roots way down deep. This is where vulnerability demands courage to function daily and courage awakens and rises from deep within. 

It may sound weird to some... others of you get it. But over all, I'm just so thankful to feel this vulnerable again.

With love,
Rebekah

Want more on this topic? Listen to today's new episode on the Truth Applied Podcast. Episode 158: How to Handle a Season of Starting Over (Without Letting Insecurity Win)